Sunday, July 31, 2005

August, here we come

Happy last night of July. I just finished taking a practice LSAT - 178, WOOOO HOOO!!!!!! If only I can repeat this experience, I'll be more than ready for October.

And on another note, tonight's the last night of August. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm big on plans and goals and other such anal-retentive behaviors. So I thought tonight would be a good night to set myself some goals for the rest of summer:

1. Get my teeth cleaned. Not a big deal to most, I know, but mine are gross. And I've got a hundred bazillion cavities. So those all need to get taken care of before going back to Hanover.

2. I gotta get my law school personal statements written. Sure wish I wasn't the worst writer in the whole wide world.

3. The recent discovery of the last six months is that I'm going gray!!!! NO JOKE! This MUST be dealt with immediately. I s'pose I should get my hair dyed, but I feel too young to have to go in and get "clipped & dipped". The only other thing I can come up with is that I should shave my head. But I'm very sensitive about my fat head, so I think that this solution probably won't pan out. Anyway, again, I'm up for suggestions. (And does anyone else agree that since I'm going gray at 21, I probably won't live past 30?)

4. Before I go to school, I want to have 85% of my law school applications (meaning everything but the recommendations and the LSAT score) filled out. GULP!!!!! It won't be hard to do, I'm just so scared about this whole process. Applying to college was tramatic enough - I thought law school would be easier. But it turns out that practically every school I want to go to has a 3% acceptance rate. Here's hoping I don't have to relive the Harvard/Yale nightmare day of my senior year in high school.

Anyway, that's all for now. Looking back, setting goals for seven weeks seem so ludicrous, neurotic, and anal that I wonder how anyone can even put up with me. Ah well, clearly some people do, and to those people - I'll always be grateful. ;)

Friday, July 29, 2005


Chatty little kids are my all-time favorite:
Riding the bus home from work yesterday, I met Cheyenne. She was 8 and she hadn't lost a single baby tooth yet. But her premanent teeth were coming in anyway - she showed me. Sure enough, there were three teeth popping up behind her front three bottom teeth. So she has to get the baby ones pulled. And her grandmother (who was with her) is 57 - and clearly that's too old to remember the alphabet. Cheyenne bets if her grandma tried, she'd say it was A-C-X-T-Y. Also, Cheyenne knows addition but not subtraction. And her parents are divorced but her mom doesn't like visiting her dad's house, so they always meet at a Sonic.

Anyway, that last bit kinda hit me funny. I always have a hard time when I encounter kids with divorced parents. Hats off to Cheyenne who seemed totally cool with it - I only wish more kids were lucky like her. Last March, when we went to Florida for Mock Trial, I saw the most awful scene between a father, his two daughters, and the South West Airlines gate attendants. Apparently, the kids were flying home to their mom's and as they got to their gate, they saw the plane pull away. The father was pissed and made a huge scene. That scene resulted in the younger daughter crawling up into a ball beside the counter eating her hair and crying. The older daughter (probably around 14) meanwhile, was pacing like mad listening to her discman trying to drown out the sounds of her dad yelling at the gate attendants. Eventually, security had to lead the man away with his upset daughters in tow. I also had to walk away just to avoid having an anxiety attack - scenes like that are just all too familiar...

It's kids like Cheyenne that make me want to get married and have 6 kids, and it's scenes like the one in Florida that make me wonder if I'm doomed to repeat the mistakes of my parents. I would almost rather not have kids if it'll just mean that I'm going to pass on all of my personal issues and baggage on them. But then I remember that for all that we put up with my dad/stepmonster and all of the drama and bullshit we had to deal with every time we stepped foot in Ohio, we also had one hell of a family to return to in Nebraska. And that makes me think that maybe I'm not so screwed up afterall - clearly I'm my own person, who will determine her own future, and I can have a Wanser family just by deciding that that's the way it'll be.

And I can produce a bazillion happy go-lucky kids just like Cheyenne someday.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

You know it's a sad day...

...when the media covers FIFTY-FIVE times more Michael Jackson stories than they do on the Darfur genocides:

Celebrity Trials v. Darfur

Or, if you have a NY times account:

Original Op-Ed

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


big shout out to Rene for checking my blog and being my mother's lover! ;> for those of you who haven't heard the story, Rene made a crack once about having sex with my mom. Well, I was hurt - I'm sure you can imagine - how come my mom was having sex with Rene and never told me?!?! So I called her up, and demanded answers:

Me: "MOM! Rene says you guys had sex!!!!!"
Mom: [brief silence] "Huh. Well, was I any good?"

Later my mom told that sometimes she thinks I share too much. Imagine that.

Tying up loose ends...

Today is a ho-hum day for tying up loose ends. Applied for a loan for next year, got some scheduling stuff taken care of, paid some bills, and now I'm just waiting for the work day to be over so I can go home and take a practice LSAT.

But, on a more positive note - my weekend was AMAZING! Went to the casinos for the first time on Saturday and decided that they are the biggest waste of money ever invented. But I came out ahead four bucks, so the night wasn't a total waste. And Sunday I went to the zoo with Paige and got the shit scared out of me by a gorilla charging me.

Sunday night I went to Amber's - Amber is a friend from junior high. We kept in touch while we were in high school and then a year and half ago she had a baby - Abby. Amber never ceases to amaze me - she stayed in school and hasn't missed a term since she found out she was pregnant. She'll graduate next spring, at the same time I do, and yet she has accomplished it with SOOO many more obstacles. Anywho, Sunday night was really relaxing - Amber's parents live on a farm of sorts outside of Missouri Valley and their house is by far my favorite thing about going home. And I love Bev (her mom) to death - she quilts and has a huge garden and sent me home with a huge jar of homemade pickles, and its so much fun to visit her in the winter cuz we just sit around a fire and chill. I think the biggest thing I miss about living in Missouri Valley is the Binnings. Here's hoping I still get to visit them for many years to come!

OH! And the concert (THE reason for the trip) - well, it was just amazing. One of the best I've ever been to. I had to overlook the fact that Michelle and I were the youngest people in the whole crowd as far as I could tell, but Neil Diamond puts on an AWESOME show and I was so happy we went. Plus, we went with Tom and Mona (uncle + aunt) and spent lots of time discussing graduation plans - it's going to be a TOTAL blast! Dartmouth won't know what hit it after the Wansers roll into town.

Friday, July 22, 2005

I heart Miss Kitty

I owe a great many things to my mother. The most important of these is her ability to take a perfectly common and acceptable phrase and bastardize it, almost to a point beyond recognition.

Case in point:

Me: "Hey, Mom. I ordered my ticket this morning to Boston in the fall. It was $99.20, k?"

Mom: [insert dry, sarcastic tone] "I don't know. I mean, you told me $99. That 20 cents might be the camel that broke the camel's back."

Thursday, July 21, 2005

At least I can still say leather bustier

A couple of years ago, my friend Chris told me I don't smell like anything. Angeles smells like something and Kristina smells like something, but I am completely odorless.

At the time I had a nose ring - who needs an odor? I've got a nose ring - that'll make me different. But it turns out that no one ever noticed I had a nose ring and it definitely didn't stand out in any way shape or form. Plus, I had to pull it out for a mock trial tournament and it got caught and I was in a hurry, so I just had to pull really hard. It hurt like a crazy mo'fo and I swore that my nose ring days were over.

Then last winter I had this freakish bump on my thumb nail. I thought it was cool, though others disagreed. Regardless, I couldn't name a single other person who had one. But then it grew out and now my nails are completely normal and nondescript.

So I've got nothin. Nothin that makes me stand out one bit from the other medium-height people out there with medium-length hair and of medium-intelligence.

Well...... that's not entirely true - there's one thing. Once a lady commented to me in a bookstore that I sound just like that girl on the identity theft commercials (you know, the one that's a voice over for the guy with the big belly in the wife beater). She begged and begged me to say "leather bustier (pronounced boustiay)" for her. So I did what any other rational human being who is being told they sound like a ridiculous valley girl recognized only for her insanely high pitched and obnoxious voice. I looked that woman straight in the face, made the meanest, nastiest scowl I could muster, spit on the ground to look more intimidating, and told her she could take her leather bustiers and shove them where the sun does not shine.

Or at least I wanted to.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Growing up

When I was in grade school (I'm guessing somewhere around 4th grade), I started a recycling club. We thought it would be cool to walk around town and pick up trash. This club came after the failed Best Friends Club (complete with dues) that was preceeded by the failed Stationary Club. I also joined a Baptist Church Group (after which my mom was convinced she was losing me and forced me to get confirmed in the Catholic Church as soon as possible). Before I was yanked out of this youth group, however, I can remember going to conferences on how rock music was evil and should be avoided at all costs. In junior high, I participated in an organized gathering of students to pray around a flag pole at my public school. And I was a cheerleader. And I coreographed dances for our choir performances. And I wrote plays and books and all sorts of junk.

Today I don't have a single environmental tendency in my body. I refused to join a sorority because who wants to pay money to have a group of friends? I'm a practicing Catholic by tradition, and borderline atheist by dogma. I listen to angry girl rock and one of my favorite songs is by Ben Folds about a guy tripping in a tree. I would fight to the death to keep prayer out of public schools. I refuse to dance in any state other than flat out drunk, mostly because I suck so much. And I'm a terrible writer - I refuse to reread anything I've ever written. (except for a note to a boy in the 5th grade telling him I like him and asking him to "go out" with me - that's some DAMN funny reading)

So my question is this: is the older, more liberal, better educated and in many ways MUCH more self-conscious me the better one? Or is the younger, naive, confident, more religious, more conservative me the better one? and how the hell did i get here?!?!

I NEED one of these shirts!


Monday, July 18, 2005

Those can't be cows!!!

Alright, updates from this weekend:
-Willy Wonka - Good, not great. None of the songs from the original, but the oompa loompa was amazing. Johnny Dep = PEDOPHILE!!!! They were seriously going for a Michael Jackson look with him. And it worked.

-Harry Potter parties - BAD IDEA!!!! we thought they'd be a bunch of 10 year olds, but it turns out, they are breeding grounds for all of the teenagers who would have been trekies if born in the right generation. You know you're with the wrong crowd when everyone is dressed in capes and discussing the romantic lives of fictional characters.

-Sarah's visit - really fun. Sarah held her own with my family, which says a lot about her stamina. My uncle kept trying to tell her that our ribs were actually beef, and not pork, and that she should join us for our 9:30 appointment with our rabbi (otherwise known as Roman Catholic mass). My favorite part of the weekend was driving by a field where Sarah tried to convince me that the big huge animals were not cows (clearly they were too big to be cows), but were instead oxen. See left for a visual of these giant oxen. OH, and we got to go to the Hibachi Grill again - my favorite place in the whole wide world to eat. See right for picture of Sarah catching shrimp in her mouth that the cook tossed at her.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Harry & Willy....ew - dirty!

Sarah comes to visit tonight - WOOHOO! I'm so excited! But it seems that this work day will NEVER EVER end!!! I've already spent hours blitzing Mark and Shaunak (who will both hate me by the time summer is over due to the ridiculously large number of blitzes I send them a day). See right for a picture of Shaunak's gay professor (taken during a lecture today with his cellphone cuz I said I wanted to see this gay prof). I swear to God the minute five o'clock hits, I'm going to jump up and down and do a jig!

Also, this weekend will be all about expressing the inner children cuz Friday is both the day that the new Harry Potter is released AND the day that the new Willy Wonka comes out. Chelle saw a sneak preview of Willy Wonka and apparently it's fabulous. So I imagine that Sarah and I'll be spending a lot of time with pre-pubescent children this weekend.

And in other developments, Lissa and I started a book club - anyone else want to join? Also, Lissa, since I think you're the only one who regularly reads this, Paige is totally up for the zoo on Sunday the 24th. So I s'pose we got ourselves a date. Wanna invite anyone else? Is Emily in Omaha for the summer? It might be fun to go out to breakfast first too.... OH, and just so you know and we can avoid any uncomfortable conversation - Paige's boy broke up with her. It was pretty sad at the time I think, but she says she's gotten over it for the most part. You know Paige, even if she hasn't, she won't let on. Anyway, just so you know... (also, notice how my blog is less of an online journal and more of an online message service for you and I?)

Gayer than a two dollar bill

Driving into work today, my mom showed me a note she had gotten from Randy at work.

Me: "That was nice. But tell Randy his handwriting sucks. And he should get instructions. And I'd be willing to offer them for a discounted rate."

Miss Kitty: "Yeah, well, he's gayer than a two dollar bill."

Who comes UP with these things?!?!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

War of the Worlds Random Thoughts

Sarah sent me this, her self-titled "random thought of the day":
so i just saw the movie, "War of the Worlds" the other night with Ruthie, and despite it being a g-d awful flick, it leaves one begging the question, "why are all supposedly impovershed protagonists wearing designer jeans?" There flailing on screen was Mr. Tom Cruise decked out in his Paper Denim jeans. This is not the first case of such character-clothing incongruity; likewise in "Closer," Natalie Portman as a stripper (yes, STRIPPER) had on a pair of Citizens of Humanity dungarees. Again, strange, considering that all these characters are supposed to be "like us, the common man" while wearing all this expensive clothing, figuring at around $150-180 for a pair of jeans. Where is the justice? Where is the reality?

That lead to MY random thought of the day:
I also just saw war of the worlds with Miss Kitty on Monday. She got up and walked out half way through, but I was mildly entertained. Or maybe it was just that I was trying to prove to myself that I could sit through an entire action flick without killing myself in the hopes that for the next bf, I will be able to sit through "guy" movies. ;) but who am I kidding? even if I can make it through an action flick, you will never EVER get me to sit through an entire showing of Tommy Boy and I am therefore odious to any real guy.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Does Quizilla know something I don't?!!?

Gay Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, July 11, 2005

Who has the money for this?!?!


- Taking the Law School Admission Test (LSAT): $255 (including $115 to take the test as well as $140 on all of the test prep materials)
- Registering with the Law School Admission Council (LSAC): $106
- Applying to Law Schools: $924 (including an average of $65 fee + $12 transcript fee for 12 schools)
- Tuition, Room, & Board at Law School for Three Years: $172,500 ($57,500/year)

Getting into just ONE of my top choice schools? PRICELESS!!!!

I swear, I will never get out of debt as long as I live.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Barnes and Noble beats angina anyday.

2 recent developments on the homefront:

1. I have a new least favorite word. Angina. It sucks. It could be at the top of my list of least favorite words. I would name some of my other least favorite words, but most of them refer to female body parts and it isn't appropriate to list them on a public site.

2. I have a new favorite chair. It's in Barnes and Noble. This chair is amazing - the perfect combination of being big enough to curl up in and soft enough to sink into when you sit in it. And don't give me any crap about spending a Saturday evening in a chair at Barnes and Noble. If you met this chair, you would realize that all of your previous Saturday evenings fall short of the heaven you are experiencing. And then you would join me in my chair-praising cult. And life would be grand for you too.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Yay for the Midwest!!!

So some lady pulling out of a parking spot today felt the need to pull down her window and apologize to me because she drove in front of me. (mind you, I was way behind her and walking towards a store) I was actually surprised, I had no idea who she was apologizing to. After turning around twice, expecting to find someone else that she cut off, I realized she had meant her apology for me.

Can I just say, Midwestern people are the nicest EVER! Granted, I'm in Denver, and technically that doesn't count as the Midwest, but whatever. At least every other day someone will start up a random conversation with me in the elevator - complete strangers start talking to me like we're old friends. And my favorite part of the Midwest is how when you drive down the street (and now I'm referring mostly to Iowa and Nebraska), people driving by wave at you. And you don't know them, and they don't know you, and you'll likely never see each other again, but it feels nice to pretend for an instant that you are the closest of friends with everyone you drive by. This is the main reason I hate New York - too many cold, hard-ass people for me.

Anyway, so here's a shotout to the nice lady who apologized to me and reminded me why I love the Midwest.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Don't just laugh, answer the pepperoni

Michelle and Jeff are broken up and I feel terrible for her. Well, sort of.... there always comes a point with Michelle when my patience wears out and I stop feeling sorry for her. Basically, I think she should move on and not sit around waiting for him or pining after him. I think that if he isn't ready to commit or be in a serious relationship (regardless of the reason), she should be strong and move on. She shouldn't let him know how much he's affected her and certainly shouldn't keep expecting him to come back. If he does, than it's meant to be. But that doesn't mean she should sit around waiting for the improbable. Why do I care so much to go on and on about this today? Cuz I think it's damn good advice for ME and the more I think about Michelle's situation, the more perspective I get on my OWN situation. So in continuation of yesterday's self-righteousness, I hope that today's bitching will at least benefit someone (that someone being me). And really, I think Michelle is completely justified in how she's acting right now....ME, on the other hand....

In other news, I bought the second season of Gilmore Girls on DVD yesterday (hence the blog title), and it's the best purchase I've made since my iPod. YAY!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Self-righteous?!?! ME?!?!

Woke up VERY crabby this morning. Yesterday afternoon was all about the unexpected (and unwanted) announcements:

1. Liz got married. A civil union. No clue why. Now she's living with Erik, married to him, and working at Burger King. Will she go back to school in the fall? Who knows. Will she stay at school IF she comes back? Who knows. What the heck is she going to do after she graduates? Who knows. I have nothing against people getting married at the age of 21, I have everything against LIZ getting married at the age of 21. To a guy that she fights with and breaks up with every week. To a guy with no future. To a guy who doesn't speak English. To a guy that will only make graduating and finding a job/residency in the States that much more difficult.

2. My Dad recovered from his heart surgery only to announce plans for his next big cross-country bike trip. Again, I have nothing against his bike trips in theory, but it just means that he's yet again packing up and leaving Courtney and Mollie without any reliable source of income (or sane parent for that matter). It just irks me that if my mom or Amy (my ex-stepmother) had ever wanted to make such a trip or do something crazy like pack up and leave town for months at a time, they never could have done so. They had kids to take care of and raise. Why is that my dad is any different? He's got 5 DAUGHTERS and he acts like he doesn't have a commitment in the world.

ANYWAY, that's what is bugging me this morning. But in an attempt to get beyond being self-righteous and judgmental, this is the last I'll complain of it. Especially since I have yet to have a decent conversation with my Dad or Liz. I'm going to hold my tongue because if what I say won't change how they behave, then there's no reason for me to say it. It'll only be for my own smug benefit later and that's not worth anything in the long run. So wish me luck, cuz I'm terrible at holding my tongue.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Black Leather Condoms & Mosquito Bites

Fourth of July in O'Neill this weekend - my favorite time of the whole year. Every year, I start looking forward to the fourth sometime in February or March, and always leave O'Neill really sad and depressed when it's over. This year was no exception. Not much time to recap everything so highlights will have to suffice:

-I made the mistake of telling Michelle the story of the book of male nudes Sarah brought me and Angeles from France. There was a page that I thought featured a leather condom when in fact it was a uncicumsized black guy. Well, Chelle told everyone and I didn't live it down the whole weekend. But I still maintain that had any of them seen the black uncircumsized penis, they would have had their doubts too!!!

-This being the first Fourth where I'm legal, we of course went out to the bars. Note to self: DO NOT attempt to sing karaoke EVER! We started out okay when Krista and I sang Flash Dance What a Feeling, but slowly degenerated from there into Do Wah Diddy with Chelle. I ended the night on an okay note when Krista and I did Baby Got Back, but only cuz when it got to the part where we forgot the lyrics she did her own improv rap - highly amusing! And we closed the bar down singing "Pussy, Pussy" (to the tune of "Sugar, Sugar") to uncle John cuz he wouldn't join us.

-I have mosquito bites all over my feet and hands from the drive-in, and the movie was terrible to boot (herbie fully loaded), but it was fun hanging out with Kristin (even if she is a total bigot now!!!).

-Friday I spent the whole day at Millie's. We made cookies in the morning, and then did absolutely nothing. Not a damn thing. And it was the best time I've had in a while. I'm always surprised at how quickly I forget that Millie's kitchen table is my most favorite place in the whole world to be.

-Tom has some new property outside of O'Neill that is quite literally in the middle of nowhere. Lots of pastures and alfalfa fields - it was really gorgeous. Who'd of thunk that I could have so much fun in a cow pasture on a river and then in a bunch of fields out in the country?!? (oh yeah, and of course there was another toast to my toes - All in all, a brilliant end to a not so PC joke)

Anyway, it's back to work today. A boring, gray day which is only slightly improved by the fact that I got a 175 on my practice LSAT this morning - WOOHOO! K, looking back my highlights are actually quite long. I should get back to work.