Monday, April 27, 2009

See ya later, Crazytown!

Today was my last day of school forever!!! But it's a bittersweet ending. Of course, I couldn't celebrate the day without a healthy dose of the Crazies. Who are the Crazies? These are the Crazies!

The protests against President Obama speaking at Notre Dame's commencement are OUT. OF. CONTROL! As I type this, there is a plane with a giant banner attached to the back circling Notre Dame's campus. On the giant banner is a picture of a 10-week aborted fetus. All to protest Pres. Obama's visit. I am enraged at all the pro-life protesters destroying my graduation. They've had children carrying posters saying "Obama thinks babies are trash" and adults carrying signs saying "Would you invite Pontious Pilot after he crucified Christ?" They're trying to collect as many tickets as they can to come inside the ceremony and protest. I have spent three long, hard years at this institution and I am so angry that it makes me shake that these protesters, some of whom have commuted all the way from Wyoming!, are turning my graduation and my day of celebration into their battle site.

The timing of this plane is very convenient. Just yesterday I drafted the following post but couldn't post it due to internet complications. Lest you think the Crazies are all external to Notre Dame, I've collected a list of my top ten favorite things that Notre Dame Law School Crazies have said in the last three years...

1. "Racism doesn't exist anymore."
2. "The law just protects murders, abortionists, and unpopular minorities."
3. "Birth control is oppressive towards women."
4. "I have criticisms of de-segregation."
5. "If I want a law firm that promotes itself as the law firm with hot buxom secretaries, I should be allowed to discriminate in the hiring process so I only have to hire hot buxom women."
6. "It's a baby, stupid." [Which followed a comment or two about baby killing]
7. "Georgetown is NOT a Catholic school."
8. "I don't believe in welfare because I don't want to buy snack cakes for all the obese poor people."
9. [To a professor who confessed to the class his son is gay] "Homosexuals are an abomination."
10. And my all-time favorite, which was not vocal but VERY visible - the guy who prayed for me in class. As in, sign-of-the-cross, while-sitting-in-the-front-row praying for me.

Dear Crazies:

I won't miss you. I've learned from you, especially about how much hatred privileged, powerful individuals can have for the less fortunate. But I won't miss you. I hope someday you learn how oppressive and malicious your politics can be, because I believe they actively injure others. And if that day never comes, I just hope you don't get enough power to allow your religion to invade my uterus. In the meantime, quit praying for me. It won't get you anywhere.


Friday, April 17, 2009

Over the Moon

Today I led my last ever journal meeting with the faculty editors. Tonight we have our end-of-year dinner. And even though I still have roughly 200 pages of text to edit, and Issue 3 won't go to the printers for a week or two, I feel like the year is over.

I did it!!!!!

This is how I feel:

Since the election last February, here are the things I've accomplished:

-Innumerable panic attacks

-Threatened to fail a student

-Taught some 2Ls some stuff about this little blue book that happens to rule my life

-Mocked Christina because she can see the difference between an italicized period and a regular period with the naked eye

-Had Kansas State threaten to sue me

-Learned how to tell the difference between an italicized period and a regular period with the naked eye

-Edited 3,271 footnotes (truth. I added it up.); still have to edit 1,120 more footnotes before Issue 3 can go to press

-Cried myself to sleep the first time I realized I could see the difference between an italicized period and a regular period with the naked eye

-Sent 224 messages with subject: "The Journal of College and University Law;" sent 429 emails with "JCUL" in the subject

-Sent over 1,000 emails to Debbie (the journal secretary) or with Debbie in a CC field

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Easter Update

We accomplished almost everything on the list...

Step One: South Shore Line

Step Two: Hello my favorite city!

Step Three: Lovely view from the condo.

Step Four: The dolphins never happened. :(

Step Five: Heaven in a Coors Light Pitcher!!! (a.k.a. Holy Water)

Step Six: After a quick stop at the 7Eleven to pick up supplies, we made our way to the airport...

Step Seven: We crash with Big Colle in tow. We get up early for breakfast with Big Colle's friend.

Step Eight: We made it to the Art Institute, but alas! Everything by Marc Chagall was in storage. :( (Emily, is non-flash photography as bad as your mother touching all the statues?

Step Nine: Late lunch - no tapas, but deep dish pizza instead. This picture was right after Big Colle told us some of her Landmark stories. She said she could tell we were judging by the looks on our faces. So then Lil' Hamilton and I decided to mimic each other's judgment faces (yes, I tap my nose when I'm judging you).

Step Ten: RENT!!!!! Followed by more holy water, which resulted in some sloppy drunkeness, which resulted in Big Colle and I getting into a "hair-pulling" fight. In a bar. We're that classy.

Step Eleven: Bye Bye Chicago. :(

Step Twelve: Hello B&B!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

A Collage of My Weekend Plans

One of the few things I'll miss about Catholic school next year is that we get a four-day weekend for Easter. Lil' Hamilton, Big Colle, and I have big plans for this treat, even though none of us intends to celebrate Easter in the traditional sense (unless you include the Holy Water - see below). This is what I expect to do this weekend (to be followed up on Monday with pictures of what actually happened)

Step One: Hop on the South Shore Line with Lil Hamilton.

Step Two: Get off the South Shore Line in my favorite town.

Step Three: Borrow a condo in this building.

Step Four: Take Lil Hamilton to see the Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium.

Step Five: Take Lil Hamilton for her first experience with Holy Water at Timothy O'Tooles. (I can't find a picture of the Holy Water I mean. For a better idea of what it entails, think of a Long Island Ice Tea, add 7 more liquors and three kinds of juices. Stir until it tastes like grapefruit juice. Enjoy!)

Step Six: Pick up Big Colle!

Step Seven: Maybe rally, maybe crash depending on the mood of this chica...

Step Eight: The Art Institute - never been there! Can't wait to see the Chagalls!!!

Step Nine: I'm crossing my fingers for the tapas bar on Halstead. Remains to be seen. I won't jinx my luck with a picture.

Step Ten: The purpose for the trip... *drumroll, please!* Taking Lil Hamilton to see Rent for her birthday! Though as it turns out, Big Colle is the only one who hasn't seen this show live already.

Step Eleven: Board the South Shore Line. Leave my favorite town. :(

Step Twelve: Go to the B&B to visit the Padre. Despite the fact that Big Colle, Lil Hamilton, and I don't celebrate Easter, the Padre's fiance is quite the crafty lady (she has to be to run a B&B!). I'm secretly hoping (as secretly as one can hope on a public blog) that she'll have an Easter egg hunt for us. I don't care if we range in age from 21-30. (Don't tell Big Colle I published her age.) We still would do a pretty kick-ass job at an Easter Egg Hunt. *crossing fingers*


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Facebook Faux Pas


There are some things I firmly believe in:

1. Mornings are the best time of the day. Saturday mornings are the best time of the whole week.

2. Having a perm as a teenager makes one a more compassionate adult.

3. If I hadn't gone to law school, I could be as cool as this woman.

4. Christina's baby is the cutest baby in the whole state of Indiana. Fact. (I'd give you all of the Midwest, D, but I have some pretty cute baby cousins a couple of states over...)

And now add a new one to the list...

5. Facebook Status should be ELIMINATED. It has been coming for a while. Since the institution of the facebook status, it has been abused. For example, I really didn't want to know about how my friend from high school "broke up with her boyfriend because she didn't love him anymore and NOT because he cheated on her like everyone assumes." Additionally, I don't like it when I'm stuck in the middle of winter hell and I get to hear about how So-and-so is "sooooo excited to go to the Bahamas!"

But today takes the cake... Under no circumstances would I ever EVER find it appropriate for a 9-month pregnant woman to post that she is "1 cm dilated and 50% effaced!" NONONONO!

Month in Review

March was officially my worst blogging month in history. Incidentally, it was also my heaviest drinking month in history. Coincidence? I think not.

The good news is that finals are just around the corner, which means I'll be blogging like a fiend to avoid studying. The bad news is that there's no way I can catch up on a month's worth of posts and do them any justice. So you're just getting the highlights of the last month so I can move on to bigger and better blogging topics (like where I should live next year or how proud of Iowa I am).

The month started when Lil' Hamilton turned the big 2-1...

Some rarely seen Hamiltons emerged from the woodwork. Okay, so only one of these buffoons is actually a Hamilton, but ex-step-brother is just too confusing to explain. So let's call him my brother. Until he bothers you (which he is prone to do). Then I've never met him before.

The highlights of Lil' Hamilton's party are all included in this picture: (a) more Yahoos than we know what to do with, (b) dancing, (c) lots of pinkness, (d) the Birthday Girl (see the outgrowth from Hannah's armpit - that's my sister!), and (e) my favorite part of the party, the Bubble Machine! (I used to affectionately call him B.M. But B.M. are just unfortunate initials so we'll quit with that.)

Next in March came a trip to Nebraska, where I got...

Nope, that's not a fleck of dirt on the side of my nose. It's what the Yahoos refer to as my "ice on the side." Over break, I got the email asking me to defer my start date at the firm for a year, and I figured I might as well celebrate the fact that it looks like no one will want me acting professional for the next year.

Also, the thing I love about my family, is if you put forth the effort to get to Nebraska to see them, then they'll throw a party in your honor: (I still don't have the pictures of this event, but you get the idea)

I came back to school renewed by some serious Wanser lovin'. Just in time for Lil' Hamilton's first legal St. Patrick's Day!

The weekend after St. Pat's, we got the news that we are getting this year's most coveted commencement speaker!!! (I should say, the most coveted outside conservative Catholic circles. Don't even get me started on the awful protests that have accompanied this announcement...)

Followed by one of our apartment's favorite visitors:

Finally, March went out with a bang! This year's Barrister's Ball was my favorite Law School event to date, mostly because of the excellent company...

...but also because of my lovely date:

That's my March-in-review. I'm sure I forgot lots of little things that happened along the way, but this post has already taken me too long to write. Back to reading!