My New RTD Friend

Last night I rode the Denver public bus (RTD) home, and happened to have a pretty long wait for my bus, during which I was playing on my laptop. Along comes an older gentleman, around 60 years old, who wants to ask if I have a wireless card that gives me reception out there. Before I know what’s going on, he’s telling me all his woes, in a brutally honest fashion that tends to characterize most of the RTD passengers I’ve come across these past two summers. The poor gentleman had missed his first bus – it drove off as he was running down the street hollering after it. So now he had to wait an hour, and he didn’t get the Express bus but he’d have to get the local bus – a much longer walk when he finally gets to Boulder apparently. Then he tells me about how hard these bus rides between downtown Denver and Boulder have been on him. His doctor is in downtown Denver, his doctor who treats him for chronic fatigue syndrome and his heart valves that have given out. Now comes the good part. Now comes the part where he tells me what caused his heart valves to give out – apparently he was “microwaved.”

I thought microwaved referred to how life had treated him poorly and so he felt like he had been cooked by a microwave or something. Turns out, there are men out there who follow you around and who trace your social security number or credit cards, and once they find you, they “microwave” you. They each take a laser that produces ridiculously high magnetic beams and then they “triangulate” and “BOOM!” they kill ya. (apparently this guy was lucky that he didn’t get killed and instead only lost functioning of his heart valves, although he didn’t explain how he managed to luck out) These guys are EVERYWHERE!!!! They are out there killing people all over the place, and the cops and doctors think the people are dying of brain aneurisms. How does my RTD friend know? He carries a police scanner in one of the two large bags at his side and listens to it all day long.

Word on the street is that all these people are dying on account of the Truth. I learned all about the Truth last night. Apparently, the Bush family is actually a huge old mafia family that kills their business partners rather than paying them back. And the Clintons are a crime family too – did you know that Hillary Clinton stole all the money that was supposed to go to Hurricane Katrina victims? Not to mention the fact that it was illegal for both Bush and Kerry to run in the last election because they belonged to a secret subversive society (Skull & Bones). And the Masons are trying to invade the army as well as avoid the draft (despite the fact that we don’t have a draft and they can’t be both joining the army and avoiding the army at the same time). There was a lot more to the Truth, but you get the gist.

It’s all true, he says. Just go look at conspiracyworld.com. And he’s trying to publish it in a book right now. That is, if the men who microwave you don’t get to him first. I sure hope they don’t. Men like him keep RTD interesting.

Gotta feel sorry for this guy:

Those damn boxers, always getting in the way.

My torts prof & I are already off to a bad start.

When I started Dartmouth, or more exactly the summer before I started, Nicolle sent me an email warning me about our summer reading (Milton Friedman). She was worried that the selection was indicative of the politics I would come up against when I went to Dartmouth, traditionally one of the more conservative ivies. Thankfully, she was wrong, and the liberal presence on Dartmouth's campus was much stronger than the conservative presence.

Today, I discovered what might be my first indication of the political ideology of Notre Dame: an article written by my Torts professor.

This article bugs me for two reasons: first I think the professor is wrong in his argument and I have no one to argue with about it except my laptop screen, and second I vehemently disagree with his politics (which, although he professes to not eschew in this article, are still obvious in his motivation for writing in the first place). Anyone else think that this is cause for concern next year? Did I make the wrong decision?

"Hey Baby"

877-787-3744

This number is NOT the number for the St. Regis hotel in San Francisco as it was proclaimed to be on an advertisement for a tech conference that Kelly sent to me so I could register her and get her a hotel room.

This number IS the number for a foot fetish sexline that answers with the recorded message: "Hey, Baby. Want to rub my feet or suck on my toes? The foot fetish line is only $1.99 a minute..." (I don't know what comes after this because I promptly cried "EWWW!" and hung up)

New Footer

*scroll to bottom of page*

I had a week and a half to move her

and now, if things continue as they are, I'll have a day and a half to buy a car and get it to my uncle's house in time for his birthday party on Friday night.

Never a dull moment.

If Angeles knew I'm posting this...

...she'd murder me. However, since she never reads this, and Julie won't rat me out (cross my fingers), I thought this was highly amusing...

Angeles is in Argentina for the next month, and while there she's working at a children's hospital. Her description of her first day: "I spend my days helping to attend to patients and watching surgeries. Last wednesday was my first day here and they made me watch some nasty surgery. Some 12 year-old boy has his testicles all tiwsted up so they had to open him up to straighten stuff out. yikes, i was traumatized. That was the first penis i´ve seen that didn´t belong to a 5 month-old, what a memorable experience, what can i say ;-)"

So glad angeles is bored enough with me in person that she avoids my blog.

Scheduled Outage

Blogspot has a scheduled outage at 4 pm. So although I have nothing to say, I thought I would squeeze it in before then.

5 weeks from yesterday, I move into my Notre Dame apartment.

Purity Test

Purity Test

I'm a 75.6% on this purity test. A little disconcerting at first - especially b/c you can never raise that score. Once you've done something, it's always a "yes".

But I'm no Nicolle, thank god. Tsk, tsk, Miss 49.8%. Might as well tatoo "pervert" to your forehead.

The move is back on

We packed up Kelly's apartment in two hours yesterday. And then I went home to play with my new laptop. Which is the most frickin' awesome thing I've ever owned in my life!!!!

22 years and 1 day

I feel old. Damn old.

I don't like being 22, not one bit.

Where have all the single gals gone?

Three good friends from high school that I keep in touch with.

One is married.

One is engaged, about to be married next April.

The third expects a ring by September.





Holy Christ All-friday!!!! What's wrong with being single?!?!

Dog Dance

This dog dances better than me!!!

*Grease Dog*

(p.s. before you get on my case, Colle, let me just establish that yes, I did in fact steal this video from all-the-way-May)

*tear*

I have been ridiculously emotional as of late. Case in point: I watched 4 different movies this weekend, 3 of which made me cry. When Sister Act II is making you sob like a baby, you know there's a problem. That, and I saw the Family Stone w/ my mom last night. Granted, that's a sad movie at parts. But when two people are shown in bed after having adulterous relations, I don't the reaction that the director was going for was unrelenting tears. It's quite embarassing, really, and it's got to stop.

my new roommie

Got the housing roommate assignment notice, and I'm a little worried. Potential Problems:

1. My new roommate doesn't have a facebook account. WHO DOESN'T HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT?!?!!

2. She's a 2L (i.e. 2nd year law student).... shouldn't she have found her own roommie by now.

3. She does not exist in google or the notre dame website in anything other than a name and email.

How am I supposed to be a stalker when she's giving me so little to work with?!?!

Hello Summer.

Goodbye Dartmouth.

I really REALLY don't like being a college graduate yet.

First round of goodbyes

Yesterday was my last day at the daycare, which is one of my favorite places on all of Earth (see previous blogs entitled "I HEART DCCCC!!!!" or something of the sort). beyond it being sad because it was my last day there, it was also sad because I found out that the director's wife (who has been sick for about the past 3 months with breast cancer) died last tuesday. It was a little shocking because she's had cancer for ten years and only went out of remission around spring break. I adore their whole family, and they've always been incredibly nice to me by inviting me over when i'm on campus for thanksgiving or when nick and emily were in town last we went out for "daycare hazing"... it's also really sad because emily graduates from brown this weekend and they were really hoping that patti could last that long. It always just gets you thinking.... what if that were my mom?

Anyway, so the first round of dartmouth goodbyes didn't go so well. Here's hoping the remaining ones are a little less tramatic...

"The Word of Our Colle"

So my sister Nicolle was asked to do the liturgical readings at her friend Julie's wedding this weekend. For those of you who don't know Catholic mass, every liturgical reading is followed by a saying along the lines of "The Word of the Lord," after which the congregation responds, "Thanks be to God."

For those of you who don't know Nicolle, she's about the least Catholic person Julie could have found to do the readings, save for maybe a Jew.

Put the two together and you get Nicolle's version of the response at the end of the reading:
"The word of an overly-venerated story that has destroyed civilizations, brought to you courtesy of my mouth."

She might not say it this coming weekend, but you can be damned sure that she's doing the readings at my wedding if only in the hopes that she'll pop something like that out.

Maybe Law School isn't such a good idea....

....turns out that in 3 years, when I graduate from Notre Dame, I will be $150,000 in debt. I'm wondering if I shouldn't just stop while I'm only partially behind and call it quits.

Crap.

Turns out Paige has a date to Elissa's wedding. Not just any date - a dreamboat. I'm in trouble - I need a date!!! HELP!!!!