Ode to my Valentine*

Valentine, valentine I heart you.
Valentine, valentine you are Jew(ish).
And when I'm old, to you I'll be true.
So please my valentine, get me a brew(sky)?



*note to self: stick to my day job.

Happy Valentine's Day

The frivolous website of the day: I love you more than ___.

This wasn't directed at anyone in particular, but I just had to...

A Mark of Character

In the last couple years, Big Colle has made me increasingly aware of my forehead wrinkle. When I scrunch my brow (which I do quite often), I get the crease in between my eyebrows. Probably a very common feature, but the frequency with which Big Colle and I scrunch our individual brows is starting to lead to permanent forehead wrinkles. Big Colle thinks this is an invitation to get botox, despite the fact that I haven't hit thirty yet.

While not ruling out botox, (and yes, Lynn, I know it is botulism in my face!) I'm choosing to look at the advantages of having a forehead wrinkle. Look who else is joining me in the "We Need Forehead Botox Club":

NDLS gives me an ulcer.

(Offensively Liberal Post...deal with it.)

35 minutes into a Constitutional Law discussion of Roe v. Wade, and my stomach is a mess! It's bubbling and cramping and all I want to do is run out of the room and lay down. It didn't help that the very first comment referenced "baby killers," and it's only gone down hill from there.

Back in the day, I tried to fight the battle, but I've given up. I just want out of this conservative Catholic hole!!!

FML

Despite the excitement of passing the torch this morning and the unseasonably warm weather, the day has steadily gone downhill. Just one of those days where you can't seem to shake the small stuff. Which is why I was very glad to hear about this:

FML

I feel better now.

The Beginning of the End

This morning marks the beginning of the end of my time on the law journal. We officially have a new Editor in Chief! She's an awesome person - I couldn't be more excited to hand things off to her. Plus, for the last two years (at least), out of the 4 Notre Dame law journals every year there has only been one female Editor in Chief. I'm glad that I could pass our journal off to another chick - we're beating the man, one Volume at a time. ;) Check list for the rest of my tenure on the journal:

1. Finish 2 issues in the next 49 days
2. Train Becky (new EIC), without scaring her into an early retirement
3. End-of-Year Banquet in 66 days
4. Get my hair dyed - I kid you not, the journal has given me 3 times as many gray hairs

Dear Chicago,

I <3 you. I can't wait to see you this weekend.

Love,
Bagel

Happy Birthday, Facebook

Today is Facebook's five year anniversary. That means that next month is MY five year anniversary on Facebook.

In celebration, here are my five favorite things about Facebook over the years:

1. The large protests every time a new segment of the population was added to facebook. We were like the 4th or 5th school added, and I'm sure there was some sort of protest when a "fake Ivy" was added, but since I've been added I've seen the following groups: "Remember when Facebook was just for Ivies?" "Remember when Facebook was just for private schools?" "Remember when Facebook was just for good schools?" "Remember when Facebook was just for college students?" "Remember when Facebook was just for students?"

Now Facebook is ubiquitous, and I think the change is for the best. How else would I be able to gossip about/stalk my 40-year-old cousins, all the girls I went to high school with who are now knocked up, my sisters' new boyfriends, etc. Not to mention the gads of people I say happy birthday to even though I don't actually remember their birthday from year-to-year (or probably care).

2. The best additions to Facebook over five years: photo albums (and tagging), the wall, Lexulous (the former Scrabbulous), and the news feed (a stalker's delight).

3. The relationship status. I love how on one's Facebook profile, his/her relationship status is the second most important thing there is to know about him/her. Witness the "Information" section on Little Hamilton:

Facebook, you have your priorities just right.

4. Stalking like a pro: Not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times today I tried to scour Facebook looking for my favorite parts. Every time I got sucked into stalking people - checking out their prior profile photos, reading their prior statuses, reading other people's comments on their prior statuses, checking out the profile pictures of the people who commented on their prior statuses, etc. Facebook is my drug. I heart it.

5. I once added a "Personality Type" application that made me take a quiz and see what my personality type was. Little Hamilton did the same. Then the application let me take the quiz FOR Little Hamilton to see what personality type I thought she was. The answer? I thought Little Hamilton was my personality type - i.e., I turned her into me. Facebook gets me.

I would like to see Facebook last another five years. Because of that, I'm listing the 5 worst things about Facebook in the hopes that Mark Zuckerberg can banish 'em forever:

1. "I lost my phone" events/groups. The most annoying part of these groups is that the person who asks me to join inevitably never had my phone number to begin with!

2. People who reveal WAY too much information on their Facebook status should be banned from Facebook. My youngest sister is one such person. She needs to learn the proper boundaries. Case in point: "[Bagel's Youngest Sister] wonders: How are we not together? I mean really, think about it. And I thought you were done saying that you wouldn't do that, I guess I was wrong :S." WTF does THAT mean?!?!?

Similarly, I think people who reveal too much information in their Notes section should be sent to sensitivity training. Be sensitive to the fact that not all of your facebook friends want to know your innermost thoughts, and get a blog. Then we only read your stuff voluntarily.

3. What is the point of that garden of weird people application?!?! It's just creepy and pointless.

4. The blue & gray theme is so dreary. Marky Z. you should take a lesson from Google, gmail, and igoogle on having customizable themes. Blue and gray depresses me.

5. Whatever happened to this guy? I'm pretty sure he's lost in cyberspace somewhere. I wish he'd come back - he was dreamy and I want to give him my number.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Victory.

Update on the Countdown to Victory: we've had a few hiccups on the quest to finish our law journal by the end of March. Nothing that equals defeat yet, or so I think. Others may have their doubts...

My friend the Doubter, who made the bet with me that we can't be done by the end of March, was just in the office to tell me once again that I'm crazy and that there will be revolts. Thank you, Mr. Doubter, you have just given me enough indignation and pig-headedness to persevere!

In addition to my tendencies toward indignation and stubborness, I also have a flare for melodrama (quit giggling, Wendoline!). So I am playing this song to keep me motivated today: (at least up till roughly 0:46...)

"You may get stabbed in the head
with a dagger or sword.
You may be burned to death
or skinned alive or worse.
But when they torture you,
you will not feel you need to run,
For though you die, La Resistance lives on."

Respond?

(Offensively liberal post, you've been warned!)

I have a good friend from high school whose mother is fairly conservative. In particular, the mother is very fond of expressing her "woes" regarding "illegal immigration" via email, quite frequently. Every time I get one such email it leaves me rankled for days. This woman (whom I also consider a dear friend) knows I am liberal, although she doesn't know what my politics on immigration are. Each time she sends me a political email, I spend 30 minutes to an hour fuming and drafting a response.

I never send these responses. If you know me, and you know my opinionated out-spoken ways, you know this is totally out of character. But every time, I worry that by sending my email response, she will be offended and write me off, and every time, I decide that my politics aren't worth losing a friendship. This morning she sent me another anti-Democrats anti-"illegal immigrants" email. I got angry, drafted a response, and then almost deleted that response. Instead, I think I'll put it out there for feedback from anyone reading... Do you think I should send this?

Context: the email that I received from her says that Nancy Pelosi wants to implement a "windfall" tax on the earnings from 401(k) plans and other retirement benefits for the sake of helping "illegal immigrants." Also, I've deleted some of the more personal information for the sake of her privacy and the privacy of my friends that I discuss within the email.

*****************************************
Hi ____!

Now you know I can't just take stabs at Democrats lying down!!!! Having just finished a class on federal income tax, I can tell you that the "windfall" tax that Nancy Pelosi apparently speaks of is already in place and has been for years. When you invest toward retirement in qualified plans like a 401(k), you get a deduction immediately for the amount you invested. Then any savings and any earnings on those savings are not taxed until you get a distribution (in other words, until you receive your retirement money back). These are not new taxes, this is the old system. What Nancy Pelosi was really talking about are all the people who invest in the stock market and never report the income they receive. That's illegal, again under the current tax structure.

As for her comments about "illegal immigrants," those are 100% accurate. The tax part is false, but her sentiments on immigration true. And while it is totally your prerogative to fault her for those sentiments, two of my very best friends of the last seven years were "illegal immigrants" (one is still an "illegal immigrant" and the other now is a permanent resident). They were both brought here "illegally" when they were very young little girls and had absolutely NO idea what was going on. They were put in the public school system and told they were inferior because they couldn't speak English. Both of them excelled academically and went on to college, where they received 0 federal financial aid. Both are now gainfully employed and contribute their taxes just like everyone else, although one of them has no hope of ever receiving any of her current tax dollars back because she doesn't qualify for any additional public benefits since she is still an "illegal immigrant."

The public benefits they received in their younger years (by going to public school - which is one of the very FEW public benefits "illegal immigrants" can receive) helped them to improve their earning potential and they now put more money back into the tax system than they ever could have if they were denied an education as little girls. I know we disagree on immigration politics, but I don't that I've ever shared why I disagree, so I felt that now was as good a time as any.

By the way, the source for all of my information is my federal income taxation class, my two close friends, and here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/pelosi/windfall.asp.

Politics aside, I hope ____ and ____ are doing well, and I also hope ____ is enjoying his adorable new baby. It's been forever since I've seen any of you. My bleeding heart tendencies aside, I miss you all a lot and I hope to get back to the Midwest this summer after I (finally!) graduate law school.

Love always,
Bagel