The Great Bagel Dupe.

The back story for this post is that my sister, Big Colle, has been dating the same dude (Mr. San Francisco) for 2 years, and they have been shopping for engagement rings many times over the last several months but he is taking his sweet time in proposing. So I, of course, hassle them about getting engaged at every opportunity.

The Great Bagel Dupe
Scene: Denver International Airport
Characters: Big Colle, Mr. San Francisco, Bagel

[Bagel gets out of security. Engages in obligatory awkward hello hugs and greetings. Bagel, Big Colle, and Mr. SF walk towards baggage claim]

Big Colle: Bagel isn't there something you wanted to look for?
[Bagel looks down at Big Colle's hand, sees a flicker on a ring on the left ring finger, and proceeds to throw a fit. I mean a FIT. Stomping and waving her fists around.]
Bagel: F! Holy F it all to hell! I meant to look at that damn hand first thing when I got out of security. Stupid F'ing Luck!!! [insert string of expletives, certainly not appropriate for a public place like an airport]
Big Colle: [after controlling her fit of giggles] Okay, now do you want to take a closer look? [holds up hand that is clad not in an engagement ring, but in a giant ring that is instantly recognizable as Miss Kitty's]

[Commence "The Beating." "The Beating" is where Bagel chases Big Colle all around the airport trying to beat Big Colle over the head with Bagel's winter hat, which has an appropriately hard metal buckle.]

Mr. SF, meanwhile, stands idly by, (a) disclaiming any knowledge of Bagel and Big Colle, (b) pretending he wasn't at all to blame for the Great Bagel Dupe so that he doesn't get beat over the head with aforementioned winter hat, and (c) wondering if he actually wants to marry into this family after all.

Grrrrr.... my sisters think they're so funny.