Monday, December 03, 2007

Christmas Profile

Every day for the past week or so I have tried to come up with something new and exciting to post about my life. Unfortunately, there is nothing new or exciting about my life. I'm eating, breathing, and living finals - those interviews put me ridiculously behind and so I'm struggling to get it all done in 2 weeks. So this morning I had the brilliant idea that maybe I would post favorite Christmas memories. And the more I got to thinking about Christmas and holidays, the more I realized how many of my stories turned out poorly for one person in particular. It seems like every recent Christmas/Thanksgiving/New Years one particular person got shafted, and so instead of doing a favorite memory, I thought I'd do a tribute to the Charlie-Brown-Christmas-Tree of my family.... my sister, Michelle. ;)



Chelle happens to have very bad holiday luck, particularly with mashed potatoes. It seems that every year she gets blamed for a batch of bad potatoes that weren't necessarily her fault (there! I admitted it!). Like the year that my dad gave her frozen potatoes to make mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. Or the next year, when he gave her a bag of rotted potatoes. And then last year, at Christmas, she got a batch of potatoes that had been left in the water too long, and had turned starchy (I'm not going to go into details about who left her that batch ;>).

I think she may have also suffered the most physical casualties around the Holiday season too. Not to belittle the year that Nicolle had to have a root canal, but I still think Michelle takes the cake. One year, she and I were sitting in the back seat acting like a couple of nimrods while Nicolle drove down the highway. We thought it would be funny to stick our heads out the window and see our hair fly. And it was funny.... right up until Nicolle closed the windows on us. I jerked my head in as soon as I realized what was happening, and started screaming so loud at Nicolle for being a jerk that none of us heard Michelle screaming, with her head now stuck in the window.

Or there was the year that I was sleeping on the couch and one unknown sister started throwing things at me. I didn't know who it was, but I could hear Michelle laughing, so when I got up and left the room in a huff, I hit her.... turns out it wasn't her. Woops (sorry, Chelle!).

PLUS, Michelle's birthday is on New Years Eve ~ an unlucky pick because no one wants to celebrate your birthday on New Years. Last year was a particularly bad birthday because Michelle got sick as an early birthday present and so had to spend her birthday getting a giant shot in the place that no one wants to get a giant shot.

But the least funny and the worst of all Michelle Christmas stories is the year she had to miss Christmas cuz she got into a car accident on her way home from college. She was fine, but the snowy ditch that claimed her car is probably still on her sh*t list.

Now, on any given year, we don't typically give Michelle props for her holiday mishaps. However, this morning as I walked into school and tried to remember all of my funny holiday moments, I realized Michelle probably deserves a little more sympathy than we give her. So here's to you, unlucky holidays sister. I hope you don't hate me forever for this post.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now YOU are on my sh*t list!!!

Okay, not really. The funny thing is, as I was reading this, I was beginning to ask myself, Why is Christmas your favorite holiday again???

The other funny thing was that in my haste to get the window down and my head out, I was pushing the button to roll the window UP instead of DOWN, and getting pissed even more! Ha!

Also - you forgot the year that Nicolle hogged the cookie dough, and all I got was a teaspoon of it, and then it dropped on the floor and I ate it anyway, because that's all I got. :) But don't worry - we got that one on tape!

Or the year Nicolle convinced me I got a walkman for Christmas, when I wanted a boom box, and I went to sleep crying.

Or the year I put together a dinner for my friends, and then one of them showed up with the girl that everyone hated - so everyone was miserable, and I almost killed two of them because they were deathly allergic to cats and I didn't even think to ask before hand.

I'm going to go put on my Christmas music and hope to hell this year is a better year!

Chelle

Anonymous said...

Oh! And in speaking about my birthday, don't forget:

1. Senior year in high school, I had some people over and my boyfriend invited all his friends over. He got so drunk he passed out at 10. Then the two biggest (think over 250lbs) guys there both puked on the floor. Then one broke the toilet seat. And I had to clean it all up before mom got home the next day.

2. The year I picked up a different boyfriend from having surgery and hung out with him as he recovered. Then getting a call at 2:30 in the morning to pick up Nikki and her boyfriend, Garland, from a gay bar downtown, where Garland was so paranoid, that when I sent my boyfriend in to get them, Garland freaked out because he thought my boyfriend was hitting on him!

Funny....both of those boys names were Jeff...hmmmmm....

Chelle