Ode to my Valentine*

Valentine, valentine I heart you.
Valentine, valentine you are Jew(ish).
And when I'm old, to you I'll be true.
So please my valentine, get me a brew(sky)?



*note to self: stick to my day job.

Happy Valentine's Day

The frivolous website of the day: I love you more than ___.

This wasn't directed at anyone in particular, but I just had to...

A Mark of Character

In the last couple years, Big Colle has made me increasingly aware of my forehead wrinkle. When I scrunch my brow (which I do quite often), I get the crease in between my eyebrows. Probably a very common feature, but the frequency with which Big Colle and I scrunch our individual brows is starting to lead to permanent forehead wrinkles. Big Colle thinks this is an invitation to get botox, despite the fact that I haven't hit thirty yet.

While not ruling out botox, (and yes, Lynn, I know it is botulism in my face!) I'm choosing to look at the advantages of having a forehead wrinkle. Look who else is joining me in the "We Need Forehead Botox Club":

NDLS gives me an ulcer.

(Offensively Liberal Post...deal with it.)

35 minutes into a Constitutional Law discussion of Roe v. Wade, and my stomach is a mess! It's bubbling and cramping and all I want to do is run out of the room and lay down. It didn't help that the very first comment referenced "baby killers," and it's only gone down hill from there.

Back in the day, I tried to fight the battle, but I've given up. I just want out of this conservative Catholic hole!!!

FML

Despite the excitement of passing the torch this morning and the unseasonably warm weather, the day has steadily gone downhill. Just one of those days where you can't seem to shake the small stuff. Which is why I was very glad to hear about this:

FML

I feel better now.

The Beginning of the End

This morning marks the beginning of the end of my time on the law journal. We officially have a new Editor in Chief! She's an awesome person - I couldn't be more excited to hand things off to her. Plus, for the last two years (at least), out of the 4 Notre Dame law journals every year there has only been one female Editor in Chief. I'm glad that I could pass our journal off to another chick - we're beating the man, one Volume at a time. ;) Check list for the rest of my tenure on the journal:

1. Finish 2 issues in the next 49 days
2. Train Becky (new EIC), without scaring her into an early retirement
3. End-of-Year Banquet in 66 days
4. Get my hair dyed - I kid you not, the journal has given me 3 times as many gray hairs

Dear Chicago,

I <3 you. I can't wait to see you this weekend.

Love,
Bagel

Happy Birthday, Facebook

Today is Facebook's five year anniversary. That means that next month is MY five year anniversary on Facebook.

In celebration, here are my five favorite things about Facebook over the years:

1. The large protests every time a new segment of the population was added to facebook. We were like the 4th or 5th school added, and I'm sure there was some sort of protest when a "fake Ivy" was added, but since I've been added I've seen the following groups: "Remember when Facebook was just for Ivies?" "Remember when Facebook was just for private schools?" "Remember when Facebook was just for good schools?" "Remember when Facebook was just for college students?" "Remember when Facebook was just for students?"

Now Facebook is ubiquitous, and I think the change is for the best. How else would I be able to gossip about/stalk my 40-year-old cousins, all the girls I went to high school with who are now knocked up, my sisters' new boyfriends, etc. Not to mention the gads of people I say happy birthday to even though I don't actually remember their birthday from year-to-year (or probably care).

2. The best additions to Facebook over five years: photo albums (and tagging), the wall, Lexulous (the former Scrabbulous), and the news feed (a stalker's delight).

3. The relationship status. I love how on one's Facebook profile, his/her relationship status is the second most important thing there is to know about him/her. Witness the "Information" section on Little Hamilton:

Facebook, you have your priorities just right.

4. Stalking like a pro: Not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times today I tried to scour Facebook looking for my favorite parts. Every time I got sucked into stalking people - checking out their prior profile photos, reading their prior statuses, reading other people's comments on their prior statuses, checking out the profile pictures of the people who commented on their prior statuses, etc. Facebook is my drug. I heart it.

5. I once added a "Personality Type" application that made me take a quiz and see what my personality type was. Little Hamilton did the same. Then the application let me take the quiz FOR Little Hamilton to see what personality type I thought she was. The answer? I thought Little Hamilton was my personality type - i.e., I turned her into me. Facebook gets me.

I would like to see Facebook last another five years. Because of that, I'm listing the 5 worst things about Facebook in the hopes that Mark Zuckerberg can banish 'em forever:

1. "I lost my phone" events/groups. The most annoying part of these groups is that the person who asks me to join inevitably never had my phone number to begin with!

2. People who reveal WAY too much information on their Facebook status should be banned from Facebook. My youngest sister is one such person. She needs to learn the proper boundaries. Case in point: "[Bagel's Youngest Sister] wonders: How are we not together? I mean really, think about it. And I thought you were done saying that you wouldn't do that, I guess I was wrong :S." WTF does THAT mean?!?!?

Similarly, I think people who reveal too much information in their Notes section should be sent to sensitivity training. Be sensitive to the fact that not all of your facebook friends want to know your innermost thoughts, and get a blog. Then we only read your stuff voluntarily.

3. What is the point of that garden of weird people application?!?! It's just creepy and pointless.

4. The blue & gray theme is so dreary. Marky Z. you should take a lesson from Google, gmail, and igoogle on having customizable themes. Blue and gray depresses me.

5. Whatever happened to this guy? I'm pretty sure he's lost in cyberspace somewhere. I wish he'd come back - he was dreamy and I want to give him my number.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Victory.

Update on the Countdown to Victory: we've had a few hiccups on the quest to finish our law journal by the end of March. Nothing that equals defeat yet, or so I think. Others may have their doubts...

My friend the Doubter, who made the bet with me that we can't be done by the end of March, was just in the office to tell me once again that I'm crazy and that there will be revolts. Thank you, Mr. Doubter, you have just given me enough indignation and pig-headedness to persevere!

In addition to my tendencies toward indignation and stubborness, I also have a flare for melodrama (quit giggling, Wendoline!). So I am playing this song to keep me motivated today: (at least up till roughly 0:46...)

"You may get stabbed in the head
with a dagger or sword.
You may be burned to death
or skinned alive or worse.
But when they torture you,
you will not feel you need to run,
For though you die, La Resistance lives on."

Respond?

(Offensively liberal post, you've been warned!)

I have a good friend from high school whose mother is fairly conservative. In particular, the mother is very fond of expressing her "woes" regarding "illegal immigration" via email, quite frequently. Every time I get one such email it leaves me rankled for days. This woman (whom I also consider a dear friend) knows I am liberal, although she doesn't know what my politics on immigration are. Each time she sends me a political email, I spend 30 minutes to an hour fuming and drafting a response.

I never send these responses. If you know me, and you know my opinionated out-spoken ways, you know this is totally out of character. But every time, I worry that by sending my email response, she will be offended and write me off, and every time, I decide that my politics aren't worth losing a friendship. This morning she sent me another anti-Democrats anti-"illegal immigrants" email. I got angry, drafted a response, and then almost deleted that response. Instead, I think I'll put it out there for feedback from anyone reading... Do you think I should send this?

Context: the email that I received from her says that Nancy Pelosi wants to implement a "windfall" tax on the earnings from 401(k) plans and other retirement benefits for the sake of helping "illegal immigrants." Also, I've deleted some of the more personal information for the sake of her privacy and the privacy of my friends that I discuss within the email.

*****************************************
Hi ____!

Now you know I can't just take stabs at Democrats lying down!!!! Having just finished a class on federal income tax, I can tell you that the "windfall" tax that Nancy Pelosi apparently speaks of is already in place and has been for years. When you invest toward retirement in qualified plans like a 401(k), you get a deduction immediately for the amount you invested. Then any savings and any earnings on those savings are not taxed until you get a distribution (in other words, until you receive your retirement money back). These are not new taxes, this is the old system. What Nancy Pelosi was really talking about are all the people who invest in the stock market and never report the income they receive. That's illegal, again under the current tax structure.

As for her comments about "illegal immigrants," those are 100% accurate. The tax part is false, but her sentiments on immigration true. And while it is totally your prerogative to fault her for those sentiments, two of my very best friends of the last seven years were "illegal immigrants" (one is still an "illegal immigrant" and the other now is a permanent resident). They were both brought here "illegally" when they were very young little girls and had absolutely NO idea what was going on. They were put in the public school system and told they were inferior because they couldn't speak English. Both of them excelled academically and went on to college, where they received 0 federal financial aid. Both are now gainfully employed and contribute their taxes just like everyone else, although one of them has no hope of ever receiving any of her current tax dollars back because she doesn't qualify for any additional public benefits since she is still an "illegal immigrant."

The public benefits they received in their younger years (by going to public school - which is one of the very FEW public benefits "illegal immigrants" can receive) helped them to improve their earning potential and they now put more money back into the tax system than they ever could have if they were denied an education as little girls. I know we disagree on immigration politics, but I don't that I've ever shared why I disagree, so I felt that now was as good a time as any.

By the way, the source for all of my information is my federal income taxation class, my two close friends, and here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/pelosi/windfall.asp.

Politics aside, I hope ____ and ____ are doing well, and I also hope ____ is enjoying his adorable new baby. It's been forever since I've seen any of you. My bleeding heart tendencies aside, I miss you all a lot and I hope to get back to the Midwest this summer after I (finally!) graduate law school.

Love always,
Bagel

"To whom much is given, much is expected."

I've heard it all before; I've even heard newscasters talk about it. But somehow, when Charles Gibson talks about Fred & Milton's Story it just seems so big!

For my back story on Fred & Milty, go here.

Sugar and Spice and 85% Nice

In two days comes the moment I've been waiting 2 years, 7 months, and 11 days for: Angeles is coming to visit!!!! The college bff, the first roommate who had to learn how to live with me every waking moment of every single term, the one who dragged my ass half way across the world and let me live to tell the tales - twice, and the only person I know with triple citizenship.

In honor of the big day, I'll give you 3 of my favorite Angeles moments from college: (Also, in explanation of the blog entry title - apparently Angeles's boyfriend of a year thinks she is only 85% nice. No joke. He's probably right - another reason I love her!)

*Once, Angeles dated a guy we referred to as Crabs. Crabs had a problem with slobbering while he was making out. You know what's funny? Listening to your roommate tell a story about a guy who slobbers when he kisses. You know what's not funny? Waking up in your one-room double to hear what can only be described as the sound the dentist's vacuum makes when sucking all the extra saliva out of your gums. Turns out Angeles was right.

*Angeles has standards that don't always make sense: in the 6.5 years I've known her I have never once heard of her drinking alcohol to the point of intoxication. But when she is running late to meet with me and just woke up and doesn't have time to brush her teeth, she will take a swig of tequila, just to kill the germs.

*Angeles tends to have a disproportionate influence on my mood: my freshman year, I was SUPER excited to come back from Christmas break. First thing, I dropped my bag and ran to get dinner with Angeles. She tells me: "aren't you sad to be back? I mean, don't you miss home and just being with your mom and..." That was all it took. I went home and cried myself to sleep.

It's a good day for new beginnings.

From the BBC article on Obama's inauguration:

"The roar of approval that will greet Barack Obama when he takes the oath of office will be genuine, heartfelt and will come from all corners of America."

I. CAN'T. WAIT!

How has no one posted anything on their blogs in the last 3 hours?!? My google reader subscribes to more than 20 blogs! Come on people, I need help while I sit here and panic for a half hour before my Fed Tax final.

Fed Tax & Full Moons

Fed Tax final tomorrow. Filling head with useless tax junk today. Excited for the biggest-in-15-years full moon tonight. But I probably won't get to enjoy it for long (due to the aforementioned final), so if you get a chance, enjoy it for me!

Appropriate Lyrics for Today:

On Your Porch, by the Format:

"'Cause whats left to lose?
I've done enough,
And if I fail then I fail but I gave it a shot,
'Cause these last three years I know they have been hard,
But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
Even if it's alone."

Happy finals period, everyone!

Musical Entertainment for Today

Thanks, LaurenCady.

Stir Crazy

Yesterday it snowed all. day. LONG. Which, in theory, makes for a perfect time for me to try and figure out what the heck Fed Tax is all about. (T - 6 days till that nightmare of a final.) In reality, I found all sorts of things to entertain myself for at least 10 minutes of each hour I worked on Fed Tax. In no particular order...

1. National Buy a Book by a Black Author and Give It to Somebody Not Black: a snarky idea created by Carlene Brice mocking the fact that authors are still segregated by race in literature categories; "It might not be easy to actually get them [white people] to read it. Beverly mentioned that her friends were a little scared of the Ebonics they expected to find. But that's why your favorite African American authors really, really need your help. You, who they know and trust, can explain to white friends, neighbors, coworkers, classmates that there are books without Ebonics, and that books by black authors are much like any other book."

2. Brothers and Sisters: nothing says "I don't want to study!" like picking up a new TV show on DVD to watch.

3. Domestication: in the last 24 hours, I've cooked a casserole; cleaned dishes not once, not twice, but three times; went grocery shopping; and made my bed (something I only do when I have to impress a visitor or have nothing else to waste my time on)

4. (This didn't actually occur, but finally drew my attention to all the things I was doing to waste time...) Moving: this weekend, my dad and his fiancé, Sherry, are moving into their recently purchased Bed and Breakfast conveniently located about 30 miles from ND. I told my dad on no uncertain terms would I have any time to help them due to finals. And yet, around 3 o'clock yesterday, I got to thinking, I wonder if they need any help over there...

5. Blogging: in the time it took me to write this post, I wonder how much Fed Tax I might have read?

Oh, ye of little faith.

Thursday I had a meeting for the entire journal staff to basically update them on where the journal is at and what will happen next semester. We've seen a lot of successes this year:

* Issue 1 (of 3) got out in record time.
* We have more than enough pages for Issue 2, and we still have articles pouring in (literally) everyday to be considered for Issue 2.
* We started editing half of our Issue 2 articles during fall semester for the first time in at least five years.

We have also had our fair share of problems (threatened lawsuits, VERY sloppy editing that *almost* caused Christina to tell me where I could shove the journal ;>, etc.) that we had to address in the meeting. But on the whole, I think we are in very good shape. (Knock on wood.)

The good prognosis caused me to push up our spring production schedule so that we would send the third and final issue to the printers on the last day of March. When the journal's production manager caught wind of this change after the meeting, he made sure to tell me that he "feared" for "my own sanity."

Um, have you met me? Nothing else is more certain than the following: If a person (especially a male person) expresses any sort of concern for my impetuousness, all of the following three things happen:
(a) Heads roll;
(b) I dig my heels in and refuse to budge; and
(c) Heads roll.

Now this production manager and I have a bet going, with the terms still to be decided. This journal WILL be finished by March 31!!!!

My Little Corner of the World

What do you send in a care package to a person who is going to Iraq in a week? So far this is all I've got:

(Also, there WILL be cookies, Lil Hamilton, no worries. The good kind, too.)