*guest post by Big Colle*

Little Bagel left her blogger logged in and let me borrow her computer. Mwu ha ha ha.

We are snowed in, in Denver. Michelle and Megan are drinking 200 proof permafrost and getting ready to douse me, too, as I am becoming afraid that my flight Saturday morning will be canceled and I will be here all weekend and not get to see Mr San Francisco. :(

And his Christmas presents are on my bed, all wrapped up, sad and alone. I hope they don't stay that way. Boo hoo. My sisters aren't taking to my depression very well so I must go get drunk now.

Love,
Big Colle

Freedom in Peril

(Disclaimer: my sister is faulting me because of the overtly political/liberal tone of this post. I would just like to say before I offend anyone that I do believe in the right to bare arms, I just hate conservative propoganda of all sorts. Hence my liberal diatribe in response...)


This morning, I found the following fascinating piece of literature on a friend of a friend's blog: (click on the photo for the full brochure)


My favorite part is the picture of Mr. Whitey and his lovely wife in the background guarding their child from the black threat that lurks in the distance. Apparently, we need rifles to do this. Forget that fact that Mr. Middle-Class-Whitey and his wife would have been long gone by this point and safely tucked away complaining about the oppressive taxes they have to pay in order to keep that black threat in line. And poor Grandma who had a pistol ready and waiting when those commie, bastard rescue forces tried to help her. The thing is, I wonder what these same people would have to say about Iraqi civilians who feel threatened by the rescue forces and want to arm themselves and fight anyone who encroaches on their homes. Would Granny still be allowed to carry a gun if she had brown skin instead of white and instead of a crucifix in her home she had a prayer rug? Anyway, by the time I got to the "Illegal Alien Gangs" I had to quit reading I was so enraged. Let's see how long you can hold out.

Merry Christmas

In life, as I see it, there are two kinds of people: Christmas Eve present openers and Christmas Day present openers. (Well, there's non-Christmas present openers too, but we won't address them.) In my family, we are Christmas Eve present openers. That's the way life should be - I just don't trust Christmas Day present openers. I can't tell you what it is about them, but they really cross me the wrong way. They're too wholesome - too Hallmark greeting cardy. And I'm pretty sure that as a Christmas Eve present opener, I am among the minority. But that's fine by me because as I see it we are an elite few. And god help me if the man of my dreams is a Christmas Day present opener - that would be a total deal breaker.

All this is an elitist, sarcastic, judgmental way of saying: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :)

Snowdays

"I could totally make out with myself right now..."

Michelle and I are snowed in. And by snowed in, I mean SNOWED IN. there's a foot of snow on the ground already and there's supposed to be 2 by tomorrow at noon. We have no car because we had to leave hers at work and have someone with four wheel drive bring us home. We're going nuts. and messing with the photo features on my computer. I'll post them later, but trust me, it's sick and demented. We look like aliens or REEEEEALLY obese - like elephantitis obese. Then Michelle discovered the "mirror" feature on the webcam of my camera and she tried to take a picture of her making out with herself. It's sick. Sick and demented. And we've only been home 2 hours. We probably won't be able to leave for another 22. I don't think we make it.

Stupid internal clock....

....that wakes me up at 6 am for no good darned reason. I'm suppposed to be passed out cuz exams are over. :(

and to celebrate yesterday, i had 3 long island ice teas with dinner and then went to the mall and spent more on a bra at Victoria's Secret than I did on a pair of boots. Woops.


Thanks to Mike for making my whole morning:
I want this baby!!!

Last One!

3 hours, 20 minutes and I'll have all these heinous exams behind me for the next 5 months. WOOOOOHOOOOO!

And even if I can't do this....

The world apparently will end soon anyway:

End of Ze World

2.5 more days

Today: Criminal Law
Friday: Torts
Friday Night: Copious amounts of drinking
Saturday: hungover flight home where I watch every episode of Grey's Anatomy from the 3rd season and drink more copious amounts of alcohol in O'Hare

i can do this. i can do this. i can do this.

a little perspective

Went to a cafe this morning to start studying at 7:30. I grab a bagel and a banana and sit down and start hauling out all of my criminal law materials, all the while trying to fight back that anxiety that wants to creep in. (And was greatly increased yesterday after a couple 2Ls asked me who I had for Criminal Law and then after I told them replied with an "Enjoy your C.")

Just when I think I'm sick of this, and I'm ready to give up, enter Pauline, a woman who is employed on the maintenance staff here in Grace Hall. Pauline has 9 kids, and she raised them all by herself, after her husband died in a truck accident. She used to work in the fields in Colorado ~ that's how we got to chatting, and has been here at Notre Dame since the 70s. At one point, she had me tearing up when she was describing her two children who have already passed away. She used to work as maintenance staff in the dorms, and she was so close to her "kids" that she'd loan them her car whenever (she offered it to me numerous times), and the football team once came and painted the entire inside of her house. She's the same age as my mother, with 21 grandchildren and even some great-grandchildren. And now I think no matter how difficult this crim law stuff and Dutile's issue spotter are, I'm going to count my lucky stars that I'm not trying to raise nine kids on my own and I'm still at the point in my life where my friends and family don't fault me for only taking care of myself and trying to better myself and get an education. Especially because should I ever find myself in a situation where I was responsible for 9 other people, I'm pretty sure that I couldn't do it with even half of Pauline's spirit and charm.

In the mean time, back to mens rea and complicity.

it's a mystery!

at first I thought concerned 2L was nicolle or michelle just being clever, but now i'm intrigued..... do I get a hint as to who this is?

i'm still kickin!

finals aren't going to kill me, and i'm doing fine....well, maybe. the thing that gets me about law school is that no matter how you feel about your own performance, it only matters how you do relative to anyone else. so the "how'd you do?" question can't actually be answered until january when i find out how everyone else did.

but sometime after my contracts final I decided i've been a big crybaby about this whole process and I just need to suck it up and get over myself and keep trucking. if I was meant to get average grades, I will. if I was meant to make law review, I will. and right now all i can do is suck it up and study civ pro. and quit bitching. that's my new years resolution.

breathe in, breathe out

I'm so screwed. 27 minutes from now. going to die. can't even think. i'm fuuuuucked.


HELP!

Death by Finals.

I put on a skirt, boots, and mascara today.



Because when this Contracts final finally gets the better of me, I at least want to be able to say I did my damndest to go down while still looking kinda cute.

Law Student Humor

i laughed out loud when I read this.... Hard up for humor much? I think so....

"You can't spell manslaughter without laughter."
-Random law student's IM away message-


Then this is a quote from my Torts prof:

You have to look at law school exams like this joke: "A guide and a tourist are in the jungle and they come across a ravenous tiger. The guide starts putting on his tennis shoes and lacing them up. The tourist turns to him and says: "Are you serious?!?! Do you really think you can outrun this tiger?" The guide responds: "I don't have to outrun the tiger. I just have to outrun you."

Who says there's no fun in law school? (Well, actually, I do. but not today. today i'm bemused.)

haha, fuuuuuck.

Thanks Colle. Thanks for that....

Death via Brady

I came six inches from my death last night. This golf cart came flying out of nowhere and literally missed hitting me by 6 inches. As it veered off I stood there ranting and raving and mad as all get out. That didn't even change when Sean explained to me that the golf cart passenger was Brady Quinn (quarterback for NDame, fyi, and headed to the NFL). That just made me more mad. Stupid Brady. Can't win against USC and maniac driver to boot.


*plus*

*equals*

I smell! YAY!

Some lady sitting at a table next to me in a cafe in Lincoln just got up from her table and walked behind me. It was a little odd, I thought, because it looked as though she were trying to see what I was doing on my computer. I wrote her off as nosy and then went back to work. But when she sat back down, she turns to me and asks me if I was wearing a particular brand of perfume. Normally, I do wear perfume, but today I'm scrubbing down, so nope, none on me. Anyway, she was highly complimentary of my odor nonetheless.

This is a big step for me: when I started Dartmouth, my friend Chris once commented to me that I have no odor whatsoever. I was sad b/c everyone else had an odor and I was completely nondescript in that department. Apparently, I've overcome that problem naturally though. Well, in reality I'm entirely sure I smell like nothing today, and the lady had misplaced where the smell was coming from. But whatever, I take what I can get!

Tex Dutile

Quotes from my favorite law school prof: (of criminal law)


"The first controversial issue about M’Naughten, and quite probably the most crucial, is how the hell do you spell it?!?!"
"It was later supplemented by the irresistible impulse test which was interestingly defined as an impulse that was irresistible."


Happy Thanksgiving Break

While my mom is the queen of making comments that just make no sense whatsoever, my dad is the king of the uber offensive jokes. Case in point from his visit this weekend:

"The ACLU?!?! Really? They're just a bunch of commie, pinko, f*gs." (*I die of shame*)

"The last time Dartmouth won a game, Bagel was still a virgin." (Given that this comment was issued in front of not only my family, but Sean as well, I decided I would kill my father at the earliest opportunity.)

And they were more, lots more. Three of which I started to type and then realized they were just too inappropriate. But, I survived, and my liberal morals and values are still in tact.